I am so tired of “you single you must be lonely” narrative; penny for your thoughts..

Published by author Tracy Cyril on November 11th, 2029

This topic has been a must on my discussion agenda for a while now because I have lived a single life for the most part of my existence and would love to share my experience and prospective. Firstly we can outline the oxford meaning of the two words; Single means a person who is unmarried, not in a serious relationship. Loneliness means sadness brought on due to lack of friends, company and social interaction, a feeling of being unwanted.

I am indeed tired of the labels society places on us. And being single is one of them. Comments such as a beautiful girl like you, why don’t you have a boyfriend? Girl you getting up there in age, you need a man. Girl you must be lonely without a man? How can you be happy without a man in your life? Girl what do you do when you get those desires? ooh la la!! The nerve of humans and the words that casually escape their mouths.

Being single does not mean that you are hopeless and cannot find a partner. It could be a choice or just a circumstance. At times when you are in a relationship you experience loneliness. There are people I know personally that would choose a toxic relationship over being single solely because of fear of being alone. On the flip side there are persons who say relationships are just not for them. It is true that being single demands strength, self awareness, self love, self confidence and self identity but at the end of the day it is up to the individual to know emotionally what works best for them. Put yourself first!

I am here to tell you being single does not equate to being lonely. In my experience the times that I have been single it was a personal conscious choice. And I made that choice for several reasons which were:

• I felt that past relationships did not give me what I needed such as authentic love, stability, intimacy, friendship and commitment
• At times these partners tried to change me as a person and transform me into their ideal mold
• I felt disconnected and alone
• Partners sometimes tried to minimize your concerns and issues with relationship
• I was craving for my own space to discover and rediscover myself
• I enjoyed my own company more than my partners
• Relationships took so much of my energy and time with no happy endings for all that hard work
• Relationships started to feel like a never ending tasks
• My focus on personal goals and achievements would suffer due to relationships rollercoaster
• At times I felt more invested in relationship that the partner

Keep in mind being single is not a reality for many however if you are single by choice you maybe able to relate to my experience. I am filled with joy, liberated and have loads of fun with myself. While I continue to explore, love, nurture and create a comfortable life for me. I have to admit thought at times you do miss the company of a partner however that feeling does not linger long enough to affect me significantly. And I am not here to say that I will be single for the rest of my life but the moments that I am I embrace it.

Hopefully this article has helped someone in some way. Looking forward to your feedback. Thank you again for all your support. Love and Light