Why do we listen to reply..not to understand?

Published by author Tracy Cyril on November 24th, 2020

Have you ever been in a situation where you are so overwhelmed with challenges that you just need to talk with someone?, And you decide to unpack your issues to a so called listening ear..when half way through your unpacking you realize that you are being interrupted with this person point of view on your situation??!! or random comment that does not relate to your issues or your state of mind?

Understanding will take precedence over a reply during moments like these. We all can relate to being on both spectrums of this topic: the person offloading or the person listening. Well I have been on both ends one time too many hence our current discussion so let us chop this up right now.

Let us outline the meaning of three terms

• Listening: take notice of and act on what someone says
• Hearing: the process, function, or power of perceiving sound specifically by ear
• Active listening: ability to unpack meaning of words

In relationship to our topic today we are going to focus on ‘active listening’. In many circumstances research shows that 10 percent of people listen effectively, and the rest are just wired to respond after listening. However in most instances some one who is need of a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on at times just need that..a listening ear. No response or solution required at that moment.

From personal experiences when I have tried to vent or unpack or offload to some individuals who were not active listeners I ended up feeling worse that before I spoke with them. On the other hand when I did offload to persons who were active listerners; complete silence during and after the conversation made me feel free and less burdened. Active listening is a learnt skill and it is something one has to work to develop over time.

Here are some ways to become an active listener

• Be attentive with relaxed facial expressions
• Listen to both the words and silence in between
• Do not interrupt
• Repeat what they said
• Ask open ended questions
• Respond to what they said
• Listen for facts, feelings and needs

To wrap this up you will come into contact with close friends, family or associates who may need your support by active listening; do your best to utilize some of the information highlighted in this article and give them the support that they need. It could be a challenge at first but practice makes perfect. Peace and Blessings

References

Www.psychologytoday.com

Www.lifehack.org