“Expectation is a thief”

The definition of expectation is a mental projection that something will happen. Also how individuals perceive reality and interaction with people. This topic has impacted my life for years and years; and I am excited to discuss and share my experiences and knowledge thus far. I will be discussing it from one angle but there are several others angles to explore.

Types of Expectations

Explicit: Usually in work setting, it is the stated outcome of a project or assignment

Impicit: Rules based on our past experiences or societal norms

Interpersonal: Standards we hold in regards to the behavior of others (family, friends, partners)

Digital: interactions with social media platforms and how user friendly your website should be

Dynamic Performance: How consumers expect your product and service to fulfill their needs

Lets us zone in on the “interpersonal” type of expectation for a moment. For years I have had high expectations of family, friends and relationships which all lead to disappointment. The lessons learnt was that firstly; you can not expect yourself from others – meaning the way you handle situations or how you take people feelings into consideration is grossly different from person to person.

Secondly the way I grew up with strong societal norms and tradition; there was always an anticipated way things were dealt with or handled and when you went outside of the bubble you were given a side eye

Thirdly most times my expectations were realistic for me but I never considered the other person’s mindset, the way they were brought up, what is realistic to them, their level of understanding and awareness to the situation at hand, their type of communication; or if they were even equipped to communicate effectively.

Fourthly I learnt to meet people where they are, what they show you is who they are. If they do not add value to my life; I do not allow them access to my time. Just accept and expect nothing

Here are a few examples of Self Expectations; let me know if you can relate

“I must always do well”

“I can change them”

“Things will make me happy”

“Everyone should like me”

Results of expectations

Stress

Frustration

Disappointment

Distrust

Resentment

Burnout

Ways to manage your expectations

Do not have any

Expectation and reality should be in alignment

Clear lines of separation between hope and reality

Focus on what is in your control

Keep your attention on the process not the outcome

In closing I can say through past experiences I have grown immensely and learnt different tools to managing my expectations with people and situations. Navigating through reality and expectations and staying in the awareness that what can come naturally to me (common sense) is Greek to the next person. The root of our stress or happiness is usually the gap between expectations and reality.

Hope this piece of my knowledge and experience have shared some light for you. Looking forward to hearing your feedback and experiences as well. Thank you for your continued support.

Love and Light

Reference

www.humanpsychology.com

www.psychologytoday.com